Research shows that children who know their family stories have stronger identities and greater resilience. Here's how to make storytelling a natural part of family life.
At Emory University, researchers Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush made a discovery that surprised even them. The children who best handled adversity — who showed the most resilience, the strongest sense of self, the greatest psychological wellbeing — were the ones who knew the most about their family's history.
The "Do You Know?" Scale
Duke and Fivush developed 20 questions about family history and history. Children who could answer them showed dramatically better outcomes across every measured dimension. The reason, they found, was narrative: children who knew their family story had an "intergenerational narrative" — a story of people who faced difficulties and overcame them. When hard things happened to them, they had a framework that said: *our family gets through hard things. So will I.*
Making It Natural
The best family storytelling doesn't happen in formal settings — it happens in the car, around the dinner table, on walks.
Ask grandparents specific questions. Not "what was it like back then?" but "what did your kitchen smell like when you were my age?" Specificity opens the floodgates.
Let children ask questions. Children's questions about family history are often more insightful than adults expect. Follow their curiosity.
Write it down. A monthly family newspaper that includes a "family memory" section turns storytelling into a permanent archive.
From my tribe to yours — keep the stories coming!